Other People's Words ...

Are often way, WAY funnier than mine. So today, I'm stealing. Larceny is good for the sole ... the lingcod and the grouper.

This is from, Miranda Pinero, a regular columnist for Tablet magazine. A couple of excerpts from advice she was offering to youngins on Life:

* NEVER, EVER, RUN FROM THE POLICE. Law enforcement officers get angry (the short-sighted or cynical might call it "vindictive") when their blood pressure goes up.Chasing people gets their blood pressure up. Don't make them chase you. Istanbul or Detroit, in a car or on foot, no matter your race or age, no matter your relative guilt or innocence, if you run from them, when they catch you (and they will catch you), they will find a way to discreetly beat you senseless. As with loose Rottweilers, stand perfectly still and avoid eye contact.

And ...

* While you will undoubtedly love, and likely breed with an individual that you later discover to be a filthy, crazy selfish sack of crap, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. If this happens more than once, however, you'll want to take a good hard look at the common denominator -- you.

* * *

On a somber but eye-opening note, check out Tablet's featured on-line artist(s) at La Pocha Nostra. They put some work into this indictment of racial profiling and it's pretty damn good.

* * *

Thieving just isn't fun without the ol' whorescope. Rocky's funny as hell today. Her complete rant on Dubya is here and I've cut and pasted the highlights right here:

Rocky Horoscope
By Rocky Gardiner
Forecast for Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
It’s George W’s 59th birthday and he isn’t dead yet. What happened to Tecumseh’s Curse, the one where the president elected in years that ended in 00, 20, 40, 60 and 80 died in office? And why isn’t something awful happening while he’s in the midst of his second Saturn return.

* * *



And in closing, David Krumholtz is still hot. But I'm kinda torn now between him and Rob Morrow. I like Morrow's older brother/narc/uptight character too. He's sorta like the ideal cop, if cops had brains and were capable of thinking about more than just hookers and doughnuts at the same time. In fact, I recently had to defend Morrow's acting to my friend, Valerie, the former-bit-part-Michelle-Pfeiffer-double-re-occurring-speaking-extra-on-80's-shows-actress. Suddenly, it's like I'm the Champion of Mediocre-early-90's-quirky-sitcom-actors. And it's not like these people are DOWNTRODDEN or something! Christ, they've got loft apartments in Manhattan, restraunt chains, lifetime residuals and probably a kick-ass health insurance policy via SAG. All things I will NEVER, EVER, EVER have!!!

Pot doesn't make you paranoid but it sure puts a strange spin on primetime TV.

Go now in peace and eat gluten-free bagels,

-- Mz M.